Now is the time to start the process of thinking about what you want your 2024 to be like. If you could write a letter to a close friend about how great your life was in 2024, what would you say? Travel? Job? Family, Work? Community?

Yes, all of these would be interesting, and I am sure bring lots of joy to you. But I encourage you to take a different kind of journey today, one that goes further than any external activity, and one that will fulfill you more than you can imagine.

Take a trip into yourself today. Seek to discover who you really are. Commit to finding ways to grow in meaningful ways. "Develop a Deep Mirror" means slowing down enough to see yourself for who you really are, before you listen to the external swirl of the world around you. Once you truly understand who you really are only then can you chart a positive and constructive plan for growth.

"Know thyself"

Inscription on the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, 5th Century BC

Below are 10 pointers as you develop your own deep mirror in your life.

1. Look beyond your biases. Realize that your life is complex, and that you have developed conscious and subconscious biases that may have hard wired how you think about yourself or others. When life gets complex and stressful, humans fall back on biases and what psychologists call heuristics, or short cuts, to aid in getting things done. Ask yourself - What are your "short cuts" in life that should be revisited? What short cuts are especially negative or limiting your growth? What have you assumed about your life as a core belief, that should be revisited? Write your responses down on paper.
2. Look beyond your blind spots. This is a tough one for all of us, after all, by definition a blind spot is something you cannot perceive or see. First step is to realize that you may have them. Then commit to finding a way for others to share with you how you are limiting your growth. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that you don't have any blind spots, or that you don't need to ask for help in your life. (Maybe one of your blind spots is thinking you don't have any blind spots?) Get over it and find a way to get honest feedback in your life today. Capture any feedback from others and add it to your document.
3. Take an inventory. Start by writing down all that you know about yourself and what you believe is true about your life. If it helps, list out the experiences you have had - work, family, community, etc. Use this as source material to click deeper into your life. How do you view your life? What roles do you play? How well do you play these roles? Be as comprehensive as possible, and write everything down.
4. Don't judge yourself (yet). What is most important is reality. Don't develop a perspective about who you "wish you were", but who are "actually are". This is deeply personal and for that reason I recommend keeping these thoughts to yourself as you explore who you really are being the world's impressions of who you are. Judging yourself will be harmful in 2 ways. First, it will inhibit clean thinking as you document reality, and second it will blur your ability to see who you are once you step away from the exercise to determine what it all means. Just be honest and get down on paper who you think you really are.
5. Take your time. Let this sink in a bit and take the exercise seriously. Write down your core beliefs. Write down all the roles that you play in life. Write down what you believe your strengths and weaknesses are. What do you like, dislike? Once you are done, step away from it for a few days or a week, then come back to it. Do this enough times so that you are comfortable you have an accurate picture of who you really are.
6. Now judge yourself. Where are you most uncomfortable with your life? What do you see that you'd like to change? Don't worry about solving them immediately or all at once, but take a moment and judge yourself. Be ruthless. Take a clear-eyed view of what you see. You may be embarrassed by some aspect of your life, or feel depressed, or feel ashamed, or whatever. If you do, that is actually a good sign that you are on the right road. Getting to that point, while in the moment may seem like a downer, is actually a positive thing!
7. Commit to making changes. You are never too old to start creating a new life. You can change who you are by the end of the day. In some cases, by the end of the hour. Give yourself the liberty and freedom to grow, create, learn, and be the person you want to be. Look at your life in the documents you created. Color code them to what areas you are going to work on, and then go about the many ways in life to step forward and change.
8. Revisit the process. At some point in the future put a meeting notice on your calendar inviting just yourself to review your original document. Give yourself a few months minimum, come back on it, and renew your commitment and energy to change. Then put another marker on your calendar about 3 months after that, and so on.
9. Get help. If you have a particular part of your life that just isn't working and seems to be "stuck", get help from somewhere. Sometimes we are stuck because we don't have what we need to succeed. That is entirely OK and we all have things like that. It's not OK to try to change things, as your life forever more will be limited unless you seek help. Seek help is a sign of strength, not weakness, when it comes to our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing.
10. Enjoy the journey. It's not about arriving. It's about living a life worth living. Each day brings an opportunity to live and breathe a life that contributes to a lifetime of memories and joys. Take the time to plan for your journey and keep working to find growth that is meaningful for you.

Thank you for reading The River, and if you have enjoyed it, please subscribe to receive notification of future articles.

A special thank you to those of you who have posted comments to share your experience and advice. I'm grateful as these interactions inspire me, and I'm certain it has helped others in their journey.