The River

The River Nourishes and Guides Us to Help Us Find the Way

I have a secret weapon. I have a grandfather.

coaching fairness grandparents honesty integrity lessons mentoring sagacity values wisdom work ethic Jan 19, 2024

One of the coolest things I remember about being a Boy Scout was the Pinewood Derby races. We all got the same kit – a block of wood, wheels, and nails for the axles. From there, you could design anything you wanted to in order to make it go faster down a ~ 40 foot long track. It was great competition, and we all had ideas on how to make our car go faster. From aerodynamics, to special dry lubrication on the nails, to polishing the wheels. Some even drilled holes in the wood and selectively added weight on the front end of the block of wood, all the while keeping in below the overall weight limit.

But I had a secret weapon. I had a grandfather.

My Grandfather Schelle on my mother’s side had a woodworking shop in his garage. It was more of a woodworking shop than it was a garage. It was full of awesome smells of sawdust, and just about every kind of wood you can imagine. I just knew he would help me design and build the best pinewood derby car and help me win the contest.

Every Sunday we visited our grandparents after church. First, we visited Grandpa Schelle who lived in town and then Grandpa Thelen who still lived on the farm. I couldn’t wait to bring my derby car kit to show Grandpa Schelle and have him help me with my project.

I was 10 years old at the time when we met in his garage. I can still smell the sawdust even today. I got my kit out and explained to him what the objective was and asked him to build me a car. He asked a few questions and then got down on one knee and looked me in the eye and said, “I can’t do what you are asking, but if you have any questions on how to use any of the tools, I’ll be more than glad to teach you. If I were to build you a car, it wouldn’t be your project, and it wouldn’t be fair to the other kids.”

I don’t remember much about what I did that day to build the car, but I did remember what he told me for the rest of my life. He taught me several things that day:

 

  • Fairness: It wouldn’t be fair to the other kids if he did the work
  • Work Ethic: No short-cuts, I should do the work
  • Integrity: If was my project, not his. Integrity demanded I do the work.
  • Honesty: It wouldn’t be honest in the spirit of the project for him to do it.
  • Mentoring: He would teach me, but he wouldn’t do the work for me. 

My other grandfather, Grandpa Thelen, lived on a working farm and it was always a pleasure to visit their farm – the cinnamon rolls, the hearty meal, and the endless ways a kid can find adventure on a farm.

One time, also when I was around 10 years old, I was asked to help Grandpa Thelen clean up the brush around the grove of trees. We had a John Deere Model B tractor with a loader on it. Grandpa drove the tractor, and I piled up all the brush and other debris in the bucket to move to the burn pit. I worked as hard as I have worked my entire life up to that point. 

When my father came out to check on us, he asked Grandpa how I was doing. I’ll never forget what he told my dad, “He’s a good worker, but I could do without all the belly aching and complaining”. The standard for my work ethic and how I handled myself changed that day and forever more.

As I’ve aged and thought about these events early in my life, and how I’ve lived my life since, I do believe, after all, that I did have a secret weapon in my grandparents.

The lessons I learned didn’t feel great in the moment because it meant hard work, less complaining, and taking responsibility for my own work. But in the long run, these lessons have proved invaluable to me as I’ve aged through college, marriage, raising a family, holding down a job, and being otherwise useful to my fellow neighbor. 

Their wisdom has been invaluable to shaping my life.

I think we all have people in our lives who make deposits into our future – parents, siblings, bosses, friends, teachers, and so on. Likewise, we all can pass along what we’ve learned to the next generation, as I was lucky enough to have had so many do for me.

Here’s to the “grandfathers” our lives. To those who pour into us whether we know it at the time or not. May we accept their wisdom and use it to be the best version of ourselves. 

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A special thank you to those of you who have posted comments to share your experience and advice. I'm grateful as these interactions inspire me, and I'm certain it has helped others in their journey.

My grandfather Matt and Philomena Thelen at a family reunion in the 1980’s, where they proclaimed with a sign "Perfect Land USA - Home of the Thelen's". They truly loved living on a farm and raising their large family.

 

My daughter, Carson, sitting on Grandpa Thelen’s 1952 Model “B” tractor, which is restored and now sits in the John Deere Tractor and Engine Museum in Waterloo, Iowa. This is the same tractor that grandpa drove when I was 10 years old.
Charles and Mary Schelle, my grandparents, at the Breda, Iowa, centennial in 1977. Note the John Deere tractor, the many woodworking projects, and the sign that reads, “A hobby is an expression of pride”. 

 

The author with Grandpa Thelen (left) and Grandpa Schelle (right) at his high school graduation party. The young kid in the middle had no idea at the time the wisdom and sagacity he was gifted.