Every person in the world, at one point or another in their life, had someone see more in them than what they themselves could see. 

For me personally, the times where this was true in my life are:

·      When I was a kid, before going to school, my mother used to challenge me every day to help her solve the Jumble puzzle in the Des Moines Register.  Later, she would challenge me as we played MasterMind, a game that gave you 10 chances to solve a 4-color code your opponent created.  I think she saw that I could solve these riddles and puzzles, even at the time it seemed incredibly hard.

·      In grade school, I drew a picture of a deer on the back of my Big Chief tablet and my teacher, Sister Dolores, noticed it and showed it to the art teacher in my school.  This led to me sharing other drawings I had done, ultimately leading to a discussion with my parents that led to art lessons from a neighbor. I think that experience planted a seed that I could be creative and artistic in my life.

·      While in high school, I was working before and after school at a Fareway grocery store and detasseling corn during summers.  Then one summer I was asked to help lead a detasseling crew.  It was probably my first introduction to leading a team in a work setting.  I believe that experience gave me a feel for what it’s like to be responsible for not only my work, but the work of others.

·      In college, I had planned on studying business until an assistant dean of engineering contacted me about exploring engineering.  He explained his reasoning and how it was based on my science and math ACT scores.  Based on his faith in me, I switched majors from business to engineering, and dramatically changed my future at the same time.

 I think each of us can look back on similar situations in our life where someone saw something in us that we just couldn’t, or wouldn’t, see ourselves. 

Later in life, I can see how this theme carried forward throughout my career. Several times in I harbored deep self-doubt about myself, especially during new roles I had been asked to take on.  I didn’t know if I had the confidence to do what it took to do the job.  A few examples are:

o From a small manufacturing department to a large, 3-shift heat treat department with 10 times more employees.

o From manufacturing to sales/marketing roles and calling on customers and dealers directly.

o From working with a small group of dealers to leading a global marketing unit

o From working in a sales branch to leading a strategic, technology-oriented part of the company.

o From operating in a paper-based, manual organization to creating a highly functioning, automated, fast-moving digital company

What did people see in me?  More importantly, what did I see in others I worked with throughout my career?  What did I do about it?  What do I see in others today, and what do I do about it?

Some things come to mind about the people who saw more in me than what I saw, and how I might be able to do something good in the world for someone today.

1. Be positive. People who see more in others are generally operating with a positive mindset.  It’s always a choice to see things in a positive light.  If you make this a habit, it gets easier to do.

2. Don’t judge. Lend people your belief, not your judgement.  Believe in the potential in others.  Believe for them if they can’t believe in themselves.

3. Baby steps. Point out progress, even when it seems like baby steps to them.  Help them see progress when all they may be perceiving is problems.

4. Motivate others. Give them your energy or help them find their own energy.  Lift them up.  Be the light in their day.

5. Say something. Compliment them.  Tell them in a genuine and authentic way what they are doing right, or what the potential could be for their life. 

6. Be a good coach/mentor/advisor. Give them feedback in a way that helps them. 

7. Be aspirational. Sometimes all people need is to have someone set a high expectation for them, and they rise to the occasion on their own. 

8. Be hopeful. Even if you don’t perfectly see someone else’s highest goodness, believe in its existence and be encouraging to them.  Have faith in a person today.

9. Be empathetic. You may be the only person they run into who truly cares about them all day.  Make sure your comments land well.

10. Be generous. Give them your time.  Show them they are important.  They will find their own path with the right encouragement.

In the upcoming holiday season, give the gift of believing in someone else.  

Believe in them more than they believe in themselves.

 ===========================================================

Thank you for reading The River, and if you have enjoyed it please subscribe to receive notification of future articles. For more resources check out www.therivercoach.org

Please help spread the word by sharing The River with your LinkedIn Network with an encouraging word asking others to check it out.

A special thank you to those of you who have posted comments to share your experience and advice. I'm grateful as these interactions inspire me, and I'm certain it has helped others in their journey.